• Wed. May 29th, 2024

Scotland Connected

Hopping Across Scotland From Hub To Hub

The best clean Mum Jokes for Today


Apr 30, 2023 ##MumJokes, #Mum Jokes

The Best Clean Mum Jokes for Today

Moms are the superheroes of the household, juggling all the responsibilities, and keeping the family together. Sometimes, they need to unwind and have a laugh. That’s where Mum jokes come in. Mum jokes are not only amusing but, they also can be a way to help lighten the mood and bond with your mother. So, we compiled some of the best clean Mum jokes that will surely make you, and your mum chuckle in agreement or even roll your eyes.

1. Do you want a briefcase to go with that?

You’re all packed and ready to go to school. Your Mum asks if you have everything you need for the day, and you say with certainty, “Yes! Wait, do you have my lunch box?” Mum then replies with a straight face, “Do you want a briefcase to go with that?” Cue in the awkward silence as you realize the pun she has just made.

2. “Why are you turning the lights off and coming back to bed?”

As a kid, sometimes, it’s hard to fall asleep. Hence, it’s natural to get up, turn the lights on, and maybe grab a snack. But when you come back to bed and switch off the lights, here come Mum who knows what’s up. “Why are you turning the lights off and coming back to bed?” she asks. “I’m just doing my nightly snack routine” you reply. She then retorts, “Bet that bag of chips was calling your name, haha! Now, goodnight!” You can’t help but feel busted.

3. “I’m not sleeping, just resting my eyes.”

Who hasn’t tried to pull off the “I’m not sleeping, just resting my eyes” on your Mum? Trust us, it never works. In fact, it’s like a red flag to Mum that you’re snoozing. So, if you ever use this excuse, make sure you’re prepared for the standard response, “If you’re resting your eyes, then I suppose it would be okay if I turn off the TV?”

4. “What do I look like, a magician?”

Moms are talented multitaskers. But sometimes, they can’t do miracles. Have you ever asked your Mum for something, and she responds, “What do I look like, a magician?” Maybe she wishes she could pull it out of thin air, but she’ll settle for the next best thing, hearing sweet gratitude from her child.

5. “I’m not your maid, pick it up yourself.”

If you ask your mum about her number one pet peeve, what do you think it would be? Allowing shoes to remain scattered all over the house must be one of them. When you’re asked to tidy up and you say, “I’ll do it later”, get ready to hear Mum’s go-to response, “I’m not your maid, pick it up yourself”. It’s never too late to learn to keep your shoes in the right place.

6. “When I was your age…”

As you grow older, you start to realize that your mum might have been right about a lot of things. One of the most common Mum sayings is, “When I was your age…” followed by a story of how they did the same thing but on a different level of difficulty. Don’t roll your eyes, though, your Mum is just trying to share her wisdom with you.

7. “Do as I say, not as I do”

You might have heard this more than once from your Mum. If you’re getting advice from them on something, and they realize they’re not practicing what they preach, they might say, “Do as I say, not as I do”. They know that being a parent is not an easy task, and they want to lead by example, even if they themselves are not perfect.

8. “Were you raised in a barn?”

You’ve probably heard this one from your Mum more times than you can count. It’s usually said when you have poor table manners or leave the door open when the air conditioning is on. It’s a way of saying, “Mind your manners, and show some respect”.

9. “Don’t make me turn the car around”

You’re on a family road trip when a sibling starts getting on your nerves. Mum then says, “Don’t make me turn the car around”. It’s not a threat, just a warning to better behaviour. The subtext behind it is, “Enjoy the trip, and let’s keep the moment peaceful and fun.”

10. “I’m not buying anything in the gift shop”

You go with Mum into a store, and she says, “I’m just going to take a quick look, and I’m not buying anything.” But as soon as you walk into the gift shop, mum can’t resist and starts browsing through the stuff, that’s when you hear her infamous line, “I’m not buying anything in the gift shop…probably.” Hey, shopping brings joy, and your Mum deserves a little something for herself sometime!

In conclusion, Mum jokes are a fun and easy way to bond with your mother. They can be a lighthearted way of relieving stress and tension, or just a good laugh. Remember not to overuse these jokes, they might lose their charm. And don’t forget to say thank you, Mum for all the love and sacrifice they offer to you every day.

By admin