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If you’re feeling depressed, try drinking a gallon of water before you go to sleep. It’ll give you a reason to get out of bed in the morning.
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My landlord told me we need to talk about the heating bill. “Sure,” I said. “My door is always open.”
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I built a model of Mount Everest and my son asked if it was to scale. “No,” I said. “It’s to look at.”
